Someone is turning five this week, and today she shared a birthday lunch with her Baltimore friend. We dined at Chuck-E-Cheese, opened a few gifts and won lots of tickets. Carolyn in particular spun the wheel-o-tickets and got 100 which was pretty much a highlight of her seven-year-old life. Julia was super excited about her gifts and the fact that she could continue to remind us that this is her birthday WEEK!

I totally did not even realize Julia's dress was on backwards until I saw these photos... it's an East Coast hip five-year-old thing I guess

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The thing about a big impending move, and skin cancer, is that they can kind of overwhelm a girl.

When the “suite life” calls and says they only have one king sized bed for your family of four, or your dermatologist removes a large mole from your hip that hurts surprisingly badly, you just need a hug. But, since you work in Cubeville where hugs are forbidden you decide to retreat to your spreadsheets and swallow that lump.

When you drive through McDonalds for the nutritious dinner that you’ll be sure to include in your Mother-of-the-Year portfolio and the two Happy Meals come with very different toys which results in much weeping and gnashing of teeth, you once again swallow that lump and the guilt, always the guilt.

When the children are asked to select a few things we might get rid of before the move, and they select random puzzle pieces and a Polly Pocket outfit, you laugh a little but realize that this too will become your job, which of course you will do behind their back, hence more guilt.

And when the handsome photographer works until two or three in the morning every night to wrap up all the loose ends that remain from his bustling business you wonder if he might be a teensy bit stressed too, so you do not ask him to make you a homemade frappucino in the morning.

But in the quiet twilight of a busy day as your big first grader sleeps angelically, you ask your sweet Julia to be your nurse and she gently applies medicine to your back where more moles have been chopped. She is gentle and talks quietly and presses the bandaid on thoughtfully. She asks if it would be possible for her to be a nurse AND an artist AND a mommy when she grows up? “Absolutely!” you tell her, and she cuddles up in bed and tells you Fancy Nancy jokes until you both doze off to sleep. And you are thankful for this day.

Lest you think Julia has gone unnoticed as her big sister looses teeth and graduates from Kindergarten, rest assured she continues to sprout in her own ways. Her sense of humor has Brandon wiping tears from his eyes at dinner as he laughs so hard. Her sense of style assembles Easter dresses and brown knit dresses with matching brown tights and black shoes that actually looks quite smashing. And she has whooped her sister in a good game of checkers for several nights in a row this week before bed.

Upon arriving home from Cubeville...
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J: Mommy! Mommy! I painted you a picture!
K: Oh wow, I love it.
J: Ya, it's a teapot
K: Wow... I can (kinda) see that

Once upon a time, a long time ago (but not that very long ago at all) your eyes met mine. And I experienced a peace between us that subsided all of my worries, whatever those used to be, and I knew you. I knew you as though we'd been friends for a long, long time. All awkwardness vanished when I knew you and those big eyes and calm soul that seemed to reach out and hold me tight. And I rested in that, and I rest in that still. And I wonder sometimes if my connection to your soul is burdensome or ever will be to your budding spirit. Can you tell that I am energized by your laugh, that your cry pierces my heart, that your smile gets me through sometimes? Is that why you cuddle up close night after night, awakening me from my bad dream to ask if we can "just cuddle" for a few minutes that turn into an hour? Can I bring life to you the way you bring life to me, or when our eyes met did our roles forever shift and my life-giving end and yours begin?

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Four short years and yet a lifetime for you my sweet Julia.
Happy, Beautiful, Blessed Birthday to you.

She says she was "nervous" but to me she just looked bored. Julia's program did feature the always favorite "Thee Little Christmas Trees (Standing All Alone)" and unruly children... though not as unruly as last year (remember HERE!?!) She did get to wear the exact same get-up since I intentionally bought a little larger size last year, and I apparently am wearing a scowl that could kill. I hate seeing photos of myself like this, makes me wonder how I keep any friends when my non-verbals scream "bite me".

illustration by Gustave Dore

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I was greeted in the grass with hugs that nearly pulled me over. Which would have been just fine because I missed them, too. Being gone on retreat after a week of business travel turned out to be just plain rotten timing for two little girls and one patient husband, who continued to text me throughout the weekend, "Everything is going great here, just have a good time!"

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And I did, have a good time that is. It was superb.

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But nothing beats the homecoming. The stories and kisses and kisses and stories. By the time we sat down to dinner we had moved from Friday stories to Saturday and finally "How was Sunday School?"
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Julia: "Oh!" (she starts every good story with "Oh!") "It was good. Well, except a girl told me I was bad."

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"Really!?! She said you were bad? Is that true? Do you think you are actually bad?" I inquired in reply.

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"No... No, I told her, 'Only wolves are bad.'"

Thursday.
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Julia's bestest friend in the whole wide world, the cousin she was born within five short months of, the one she sleeps next to on Friday night sleep-overs at Grandma's, the kindred spirit she gravitates towards like a magnet, the sweet friend she prays for at bedtime - is undergoing spinal surgery to remove a cyst in her tiny spine next Thursday.
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Please pray for Natalie ... for her safe travel to Dallas Children's Hospital.... for her comfort and bravery as she goes in for surgery... for the surgeons hands to be wise and precise... for a quick recovery... to know God is near.

He was being shy about the whole birthday thing. We had cake... but not "birthday cake" just to clarify. We had Chick-Fil-A and swimming - and not-birthday cake and ice cream. It was all very laid back, wonderfully so.
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That is, until the final minutes, as we were sitting around the pool, everyone dressed and nearly ready to call it a night. Julia, the sole swimmer left in the pool had wiggled out of floaties some twenty-minutes prior and was enjoying the freedom (and risk) associated with being floaty-free. She had hopped around the shallow-end effortlessly and then, suddenly, she was in the deep-end over her head and flailing in a flash. My primitive mothering instincts took over as I pulled a whole Bay Watch rescue minus the cute red swimsuit or slow motion run or David Hasslehoff - jeans, flip-flops, glasses, everything were soaked through but she was safe in a matter of a nano-second. She was unphased, and the kids on the pool deck were in mass hysterics at their goofy-lookin' aunt jumping in the pool fully clothed. And my heart is still pounding, probably will for a while. And I might have a nightmare.
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As we walked into the house Julia asked me "Mommy!?! Were you scared when I went in the deep water?" "YES!" I replied. "Well you were AMAZING!" she declared - and I hope she remembers that when she's 13.

Once someone asked me if the girls were twins. And then about one-hundred other people did. And then a thousand. I don't really see it being the "mom" and all... and then I saw this pictures...
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and I kind of saw it.
And I also kind of wondered who picks out these kids clothes everyday!?!

They know which songs on the CD they want blasted. They sing along. They plan the day and tomorrow, too - then they admire the clouds and identify which animals they look like. Sometimes they fight (a lot) over who's arm is over the center-line, classic sibling issues. They ask life questions, like how God made stuff... lots of stuff.... including babies. They cry sometimes, and laugh a lot - but always singing. Our life is a musical.

The evening was spent packing up for the weekend of wedding fun. The girls think they need to be accompanied by five to ten stuffed animals everywhere we go lately, so I had to make room for a little lamb, pup and penguin. We gingerly cut tags off of new shoes, and selected jammies for our overnight with the bridal party at the Bed and Breakfast (no boys allowed, the girls are SO pumped to be part of the 'girl' party). And then, after googling "quick acne remedies to painful explosions of the face" to no luck, I began to iron Brandon's dress shirts. In walks Julia who points to the ironing board in amazement and exclaims "Mommy! I didn't even know we had one of those things!"

Julia will be a very good mama someday. She has a heart for babies, baby dolls, and tiny things that she can pretend are babies in the absence of one of the above. When Jodi's little Sophia was at our house this week Julia sat...and sat...and sat rocking her and singing her "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star". She kept admiring her little fingers, and giving her kisses, then more admiring. She also asked if she could feed her or walk around with her, its only a matter of time before this kid has her own nanny service!

When we arrived it was sunny and windy and glorious. Winter, at long last, had been defeated - now on to the next victory... or not. Though they don't keep score in this very recreational league, it became abundantly clear in the first five minutes that our team of mosty 3 to 5 year olds was being stomped by the 5 and 6 year olds they were up against.
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Carolyn started as keeper (look at me with the soccer terms, pretty soon I'll get a mini-van and perm and you can officially dub me "Soccer Mom"). She did outstanding, blocking several attempts on goal, looking very serious and seriously adorable at the same time.
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In the remainder of the quarters she was out on the field, usually giving it her all... so long as she wasn't distracted by the sidelines, a butterfly, or chatting with a fellow-player. She has speed on her side - she can even keep up with the big boys and she fearlessly got in the middle of several battles for the ball. A couple of times she got away with the ball and headed for the goal, dribbling well and attempting a shot (kind of, I mean she's five, so this is all a bit inflated...let's be real). But overall I was totally impressed and proud of my petite soccer star.
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Which leads to our little Number One (who is actually our number two by birth but quite proud of the back of her shirt...and don't you forget it), who stood frozen at center field for a good three to four minutes as the team rushed back and forth past her.
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That is, until the pressure was too great and I went to the sidelines to ask "Julia, what's wrong - go get the ball!" Which caused hysterical sobbing and running from the field to the bleachers into my arms for a good two solid quarters. When we finally got her to explain why she was so upset we heard "Cause I don't know anybody." Fair enough.
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By the fourth quarter she agreed to kick the ball with Grandpa, and they worked on dribbling a bit before she hurried over for the team snack and shaking of hands with a bunch of strangers.