We signed the papers last Wednesday. The day before Brandon had been utterly wiped out with a horrendous stomach bug so he was pale and weak but the papers got signed. I had to hurry right back to work but met up with the kids and unlocked the doors to our new house by 6:00 that evening. By 6:01 Julia had vomited all over our new kitchen floor – and just like that the house was so, so ours.
The first few days were a mix of packing and loading and unloading and holding of babies, keeping a toddler from running through doors that were left open and changing lots and lots and lots of diapers. Wipes were sought but not always found. I may have used wet leaves in the yard in a moment of messy desperation to clean a baby’s bottom. It was a long couple of days.
At least a dozen generous, strong humans came to our aid by way of lending vehicles, moving boxes, painting, installing, advising and gifting us meals, childcare and general kindness. It was incredibly humbling and filled my soul way, way up.
The first night went smoothly, with everyone in their new rooms all tucked in and happy as clams. I, however, wandered aimlessly in the dark for a good long while trying to take it all in. About midnight a wave of intense anxiety washed over me as I blankly stared into the darkness of our new living room. A host of unhealthy and useless thoughts raced through my mind questioning all aspects of life and houses and finances; I decided it was probably a very good time to go to bed.
Over the next several days Brandon and I spent a spattering of hours going back and forth to get the odds and ends we had left at the duplex; the fossilized shark tooth from the museum gift shop and other items that don’t really have a proper place in the general packing of a home. After everything was out and it had been vacuumed and wiped down I drove over and walked from room to room to say my own little good bye. Most rooms were so different once empty that I kept it together, but the bedroom that had served as a school room for so many years choked me up as I stared at the wall where we had hung bulletin boards and alphabet posters and imagined our little eager learners and I got very sad. I decided it was probably a very good time to go to Starbucks.
It has now been a week worth of sleeps and this long-awaited and much-anticipated place is beginning to feel very much like home. The park behind our house gives us gorgeous views of deer in the mornings, the rooms are spacious and inviting, and the kitchen has already hosted many good conversations. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and full up with love. I hope to have a talented photographer I know snap some pictures to share very soon!