Saturday, September 4, 2010

One day in November of 2004 a new tiny person came into my life. In those early days I did much crying and wondering what I had gotten myself into. Not all moms cry, or feel overwhelmed (so they say), but for those new moms and dads who might feel a bit stressed with the responsibility of the tiny human staring back at them in those first days and weeks of parenthood, here are a few tips, tricks and trinkets to smooth the way.

Thank you all the advice from these great moms
{1. Kristy, 2. Melanie 3. Rebecca, 4. Aunt Eileen, 5. Becky and 6. Brooks}

"The best advice I ever had was to rely on your family."

"The best advice I ever received was 'don't listen to advice!'"

"Motherhood is a rollercoaster. Some days are great, and some are absolutely horrible. It happens to all of us. Just know that the bad days (and stages) don't last forever."

"Don't buy a cheap baby carrier, you'll regret it." [see more on this under trinkets]

"Soothies for new mom!" [see more on this under trinkets]
"Be proactive about seeking breast feeding support (in the hospital ask for a Lactation Consultant, seek out support groups once you're home, etc.) Support group makes it sounds like AA, but really it is just a small group of moms that all have babies about the same age and just need some emotional support if nothing else."
"Do what works for you and your family. Advice from others is nice, but it can be stressful, too. If what you are doing works and your kids are healthy and safe - keep with it. Who cares if someone else thinks you're crazy. *wink*"

"Find something that helps you get through the bad days. Something that you can always turn to, to sort of start your day over. For me, on the worst days, I pack the kids in the car and drive to a Starbucks drive-thru. I get myself something decadent and get the kids each a hot chocolate. By the time I drive home one or both of them is asleep and I feel recharged."
"Remeber your child is an individual, a real true human-being with his/her own feelings, thoughts and emotions. His or her feelings/thoughts will often differ from yours and that is ok. Be respectful of his/her feelings. I say the last 3 sentences as a sort of matra to get through the tantrums that come with growing independence."
"Find other moms who are in the same life stage as you, who you can be honest with, and enjoy the journey together!"
my mom and aunt Paula
And from my Grandma:

"1. Try to keep on a schedule for your babies and pre-schoolers. In other words I always gave baths at the same time every day. They took naps at a regular time and were fed at the same time each day. I think when babies and children have routines they feel safe.
2. Feed your children decent meals every day - not fast foods. Even when mine were todlers I would sit down with them to eat so that it can be a teaching time. Children should learn to sit at the table until everyone is finished before they can get down and go play. If you start this young it will never be a problem to you as they grow.
3. Take this meal time as an opportunity to visit with them and I mean with them and not someone on your cell phone. I feel bad when I see young mothers with their children at the stores and the mother is visiting with someone on the phone instead of with their child. It surely must make the child feel insignificant. You know that when you are visiting with another adult and they take a cell phone call it doesn't make you feel very good so I am sure this is the way your child feels.
4. Be consistent on meals and bedtime. Don't go shopping at mealtime or bedtime. When I see parents out at those times and I hear their children fussing I wonder why the parents never learned the hungry or tired cry of their child. Maybe they did and are just choosiing to ignore it.
5. Children need to have down time. Don't schedule all their time. They don't need to be in more than one extra thing during the school year especially.
6. Every family needs to have just family time to unwind after dinner and before the children go to bed.
7. Be consistent in your discipline and make the punishment fit the crime - so to speak. Don't drag out punishment. If you ever say that your child should not do something - just say it once. My father gave me this advice when I started having my family. Boy was he right. I might add that I never once with my children ever used the grounded or time out system. I personally never cared for it."

1 comment:

Jeremy and Vanessa said...

Thanks so much for sharing your grandmother's advice, with your permission, I have posted these values on my family blog to share with our family and friends.

Here is the link: