Tuesday, July 27, 2010

The Train Storyx
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We arrived at the train station around 9PM, fully expecting to be heading back to the beach in a matter of ten or twenty minutes. As it turned out, we had just missed the 8:40 and wouldn't be heading back until the next train left at 11. Whoops. Mama the Vacation Itinerary Planner fail.
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With the underground-flickering-light-and-questionable-smelling station as our two hour option of fun, we quickly decided to get a few more miles out of our exhausted legs and go back to Millennium Park to sit out the wait. The thick forest of architecture under the starlit canopy seemed safe enough to this naive suburbanite. Silly girl.
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As 11 o'clock in the Windy City approached, we hauled all five groggy children under the age of six down into the underground world that is Chicago nearing midnight. Beggars seemed to meet us around every corner, and Emily was quite sure the man hunched over on the steps was not breathing.
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We made our way down the dimly lit corridor and found our train waiting to board, twenty minutes to go-time. The three-two seat set-up seemed ideal to me for tired kids to lay on their Mama's laps and doze to dreamland. However, as I looked two seats back my sister and her husband had filled a three-seater with themselves and all three of their children. "How strange" I thought, and went back to gently brushing Julia's hair with my fingers as she stretched into the two seats beside me.
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Brandon and Carolyn had found a spot three rows behind us in a two-seat combo and she, too, was fast asleep. All seemed well.
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As I sat waiting to depart, I began to notice several police officers walking the aisles with bullet-proof vests. The sight of police can either make you feel scared or safe. I chose the latter and went on people watching per usual.
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Apparently a Cubs game had just ended and the train really began filling up, but Julia's porcelain looking exhausted legs had deterred any passengers from joining us in our three-seater. I was grateful for nice people leaving sleeping children alone, and for the police too.
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Then, just as we were pulling away from the station, a woman plopped down beside us as though Julia did not even exist. Fair enough, I thought, she needs to sit and we aren't going to hog up all the seats if there is a shortage. However, when she pulled out the most stinky onion/jalapeƱo loaded Subway footlong I had ever seen and proceeded to spill said onions onto my sleeping girl I became a little perplexed. Luckily she was a champ and downed the whole thing in about three minutes...now I was simply impressed.
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We pulled away from the station and our fellow-passenger fell fast...fast asleep. So fast asleep, in fact, that the conductor could not wake her from her slumber when it came time to pay for her ticket. Now I was positively curious, and watched with wide eyes.
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The conductor motioned for the roaming police, who came right over. They nudged and shook and hollered "Ma'am wake up" to no avail. She was clearly alive, breathing and all, but not responding. Finally they broke out the flashlight shone it in her eyes, then picked up her hand and squeezed her fingers hard. I wonder if they teach that finger-pinching technique in the Police Academy or it’s just something you pick up on the street...or maybe boys are just born with those mad skills, who knows. The finger-pinch worked and she woke enough to hand the conductor a wad of fives and tens for her $4 fare. Then slumped back over to sleep again.
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Immediately I started getting texts from my sister two rows behind me, who was clearly in near hysterics at the situation. Here is blondie the suburbanite naively sprawling her darling child out for all to compromise on a not-so-simple or safe train ride through downtown Chicago at 11:00. Idiot. Ha ha, I get it sister, I have no business in the big city. This is pretty apparent by now, but the pee-your-pants giggling of you and your husband are no help at the moment.
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Of course, the loud snoring of my dear husband two rows back was not helpful either.
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My friend the sub-sandwich-slammer slowly slumped further and further down in the seat until she and Julia were nearly cuddling. My sister and her husband, now unable to see the top of her head, suspected she had indeed become besties with Julia and the texts-o-laughter kept on a comin'. I surrendered the running for Mother of the Year..again.
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When we arrived at her station, the women could not be woken once more. I frantically tried to kindly nudge her away from my child and say "We're at your stop ma'am" but she was having none of it. The older woman behind me, who was not so naive as I, hollered through the seat "GET UP" but this approach was also not effective. The cops, much wiser than I, had anticipated this and had quickly arrived to remove her. When she departed the train she was met with an entourage of cops... to kindly escort her home I suppose, who knows, I'm still pretty naive.
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Julia, still sleeping, turned over and stretched her feet into some mustard and pickle left behind, and I thought about freaking out about that too, but decided my heart couldn't take any more freaking out for the evening.

1 comment:

Kari said...

If I could stop laughing I might be able to form some sort of comment, but for now I'll just continue to laugh.