Schultz Party of Four

So here I sit, reading about children and the nature deficit disorder that author Richard Louv spoke about on NPR this morning. I'm thinking to myself, "I need to get the girls out more, take them to some wooded areas and such to romp and what-not."

Just then, and the timing is priceless, over the cube pops my cube-mate's smiley face. "Have you ever heard of a turd bird?" she asks. "No, and before you continue, will I need a puke bucket for this one?" "No!" she exclaims "We made them in fourth grade." [My friend grew up in rural Kansas, the ruralest of rural...you need to know that before you read on.]

"We took balled up cow maneur and formed it into a bird, then shellaced it, made pipe cleaner legs, put on googly eyes and a feather for the tail - a TURD BIRD!" At this point my eyes are watering and I am holding back the projectile vomit as I invision a classroom full of sweaty school children working cow poo like playdoh in their oft-unwashed hands. Now those children were not experiencing any form of nature deficit disorder!!! Why would I worry about poison ivy or broken limbs when clearly my friend survived dung molding 101 just fine - because the CRAZY thing is that she is 100% serious, "They were cute, my dad still has mine on his shelf!"