Friday, September 23, 2011

Its kind of chaotic, you know in an inner-personal kind of chaos, to move half-way across the country. Like you get really tired on the car ride and quiet for a real-long time and in between your own wonderings you wonder what he's wondering. But he isn't real chatty so you hope nothings wrong and then have to change a DVD, or hand out snacks, or hold together your sanity so you put those worries on the back burner. After two days of driving and months of wonderings you arrive late in the evening and he carries up all the bags (every last one) while you settle the kids and put away clothes and you're both too busy to stop and hold hands or say "honey" and you hope everything is ok but maybe tomorrow we'll sort that out. And a week goes by and school starts and work starts and you text during the day to say "hi" and simple stuff but when you get tears at dinner cause you miss your people he kind of just stares cause maybe he does too and no one knows what to say.

But then, at 2 in the morning, everything is alright again. For you see, at 2 a.m. the little girl wanders over unusually fussy and nervous. At 2 in the morning you both dart out of bed and pat her back and encourage her to not be upset, that this happens to everyone. At 2 a.m. he finds your glasses in the dark and you both give her a warm bath and he calls the front desk for more towels and you rearrange the beds. And at 2 in the morning you both know that this is totally doable.

You smile and laugh a lot more the next day. On the drive to work, in the rain, on the side of the road you coach eachother on where the trash bags are and napkins. On the way home you do more of the same, and each pick a child to carry inside. You both agree to take the elevator instead of the stairs, and he buys you dunkable Trader Joe's cookies to go with the chicken noodle soup and your heart swells just knowing that the chaos is subsiding and things are going to be great.


Ross Christopher said...

Great post.

Missy said...

Love this post!

Anna said...

From the book I've been telling you to read (ahem.) :

“This is what I’ve come to believe about change: it’s good, in the way that childbirth is good, and heartbreak is good, and failure is good. By that I mean that it’s incredibly painful, exponentially more so if you fight it, and also that it has the potential to open you up, to open life up, to deliver you right into the palm of God’s hand, which is where you wanted to be all long, except that you were too busy pushing and pulling your life into exactly what you thought it should be." -shauna niequist

It's a concept I've come to whole-heartfelt believe willst I've been on my crazy terryfing wonderful adventure.

Love ya Sis. I'll keep my chin up if you do! ; )

Anna said...


I'm Jenn said...

I love your inner dialogue posts the best! Praying for your adventure!