Wednesday, December 17, 2008

{Missing you} today and most everyday lately. My heels are dug into the calendar and I fight harder as Christmas gets closer. Perhaps it is the dread of the lingering grip of winter that will hang after the tree is down, but more likely it is the pain from our first Christmas without you. {Today was hard}. I went to your house to pick up some packages, I stood in the bedroom and soaked in {you} for just a minute. The Christmas wrapping paper sorted and labeled, the boxes of bows you were gingerly saving, the smell of my childhood drifting away ever so slowly. These halls were once lined with presents, in coordinating papers, that would take hours to undo. The smell of a broiled cinnamon toast made just for me once wafted up these stairs. A game of cards once waited at that table, and a hug once left me at this door. {You are here} around every corner, in every cupboard, down every staircase. I didn't want to leave, I never want to leave. {Like I said,I'm Missing You}.

2 comments:

lisa tilse . the red thread said...

Katie, what a beautiful, beautiful post, thanks for sharing. I feel the same pain and this is my 10th year without my Mum. As time goes by the pain isn't quite so raw and it's tempered by a lot of other feelings and emotions like remembering the joy Mum bought to our lives and laughing at the funny little things she did. My Mum's mothering inspires me to be the best I can be my daughter.
Christmas is difficult - especially this one for you - and I'm thinking of you.

lisa tilse . the red thread said...

Sorry the second last sentence should have read:
My Mum's mothering inspires me to be the best I can be for my daughter.